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Origins Academic Team

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Online Personal Information (Positive or Negative Development?)


More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number and so on) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. 


Do you think it is a positive or negative development? (17/02/2024)


SAMPLE ESSAY:


In the contemporary digital era, the proliferation  of virtual platforms has led to an increasing trend of individuals sharing personal information online for various purposes. While some people raise concerns about its potential privacy and security breaches , I believe that such an inclination substantially heightens user experience and convenience, making it a positive development. 


It is undeniable that the widespread dissemination of personal information  might pose significant threats to  public privacy and security. Examples of data breaches and identity theft  have become alarmingly common, with cybercriminals  exploiting defects in online systems  to gain illegal access to one’s private information such as bank account passwords. Furthermore, some technology giants are known for violating privacy rights  through mass collection of user data to their own advantage . Serving as a prime example, Uber was once accused of secretly tracking the movements of its users, even after their rides, to monitor their locations in real-time without prior consent


Although the privacy and security risks associated with sharing personal information online are apparent , I argue that these are outweighed by its significant advantages. One of them is the use of location-based services, which enhance user experience by offering relevant and timely content, such as nearby restaurants, shops, or events, that meets individual preferences and needs. Another benefit of sharing personal information online relates to personalized experiences and targeted services. Specifically, many E-commerce websites and digital marketing platforms utilize  user data to deliver customized suggestions, advertisements, and promotions , all of which help enhance customer satisfaction and engagement.


In conclusion, while the sharing of personal information online carries potential risks to one’s privacy and security, it is my firm conviction that its huge contributions to user experience and satisfaction make it a positive development in current life.



 

VOCABULARY

  • proliferation (n) = sự gia tăng mạnh mẽ

  • privacy and security breaches (phrase) = những vi phạm về quyền riêng tư và bảo mật

  • the widespread dissemination of personal information (phrase) = việc lan truyền rộng rãi các thông tin cá nhân 

  • pose a risk / threat / difficulty / etc. to sb / sth (phrase) = gây rủi ro / nguy hiểm / khó khăn /… cho ai đó / cái gì đó 

  • identity theft (phrase) = hành vi đánh cắp danh tính 

  • cybercriminal (phrase) = tội phạm mạng 

  • exploit defects in online systems (phrase) = khai thác các lỗ hỏng của hệ thống trực tuyến 

  • violate privacy rights (phrase) = vi phạm quyền riêng tư 

  • to one’s advantage (phrase) = nhằm mục đích trục lợi  

  • without prior consent (phrase) = chưa có sự đồng ý trước 

  • (be) associated with sb / sth (phrase) = liên quan đến ai đó / cái gì đó

  • apparent (adj) = dễ dàng nhận thấy

  • utilize (v) = tận dụng 

  • customized suggestions, advertisements, and promotions (phrase) = các đề xuất, quảng cáo và khuyến mãi được cá nhân hóa 



 

BRAINSTORMING


Personal opinion: The increasing trend towards sharing personal information online is a positive development


Body 1: The drawbacks of sharing personal information online 

  • Data breaches or identity theft are becoming more common as cybercriminals try to take advantage of weaknesses in online systems

  • Some big technology companies are known for illegally collecting user data for their own benefit (e.g. Uber was accused of secretly tracking users' locations without permission)


Body 2: The benefits of sharing personal information online + my personal opinion

  • Some services provide personalized recommendations, like nearby restaurants or events, based on a user's location → improved user experience

  • Some online stores and ads use personal information to offer customized suggestions and deals → customer satisfaction and engagement



 

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